So, last week, Myles was visiting Ya-Ya's house for Mother's Day. At one point he got mad at something, and hit the wall. It knocked a Hummel plate off and it shattered. Myles was so upset, and he said "I'm so sorry!", "This is all my fault!".
Now, you have to know the reality behind the story. Myles was repeating what he heard from a Winnie-the-Pooh Movie. It's a symptom of autism known as "Echolalia", where the child repeats things over and over because they sound soothing to him.
So, in the past, they have just been words. But in this situation, Myles used the sentence in it's appropriate context. And it's not the first time. It's not a coincidence. Day by day, he is communicating with us more.
Today was not my day. I haven't been feeling my best today, and it is those days when you really see how much your children like to be with you. It seems that there was nowhere I was that The Boys didn't want to be.
And as I sat in my misery on the back porch, Myles came up and asked me to jump on the trampoline. And I had to say "No, I cannot." Myles walked away, a little sad. Standard conversation between me and my son. He asks a question, I respond, and that is the end. A lot of times I have not known if Myles really understands me or not.
But today, instead of walking away, Myles turned around. And he said:
"Why Not?".
As in, I said "No", and he said "Why?".
I know what your thinking, do I really wanna go there? I mean, isn't that a parent's worst fear? The day your child first questions your reasoning.
But for us it is a blessing. Again, it means he is communicating. Not echoing, but actually seeking to understand the "why" in what is said and done.
I mean, that is the whole point in everything we are doing with our children. Whether or not they have special needs. And when they question you, and your motives, I would challenge you to stay away from the "Because I said so" phrase.
Why would you care to explain yourself?
Now, you have to know the reality behind the story. Myles was repeating what he heard from a Winnie-the-Pooh Movie. It's a symptom of autism known as "Echolalia", where the child repeats things over and over because they sound soothing to him.
So, in the past, they have just been words. But in this situation, Myles used the sentence in it's appropriate context. And it's not the first time. It's not a coincidence. Day by day, he is communicating with us more.
Today was not my day. I haven't been feeling my best today, and it is those days when you really see how much your children like to be with you. It seems that there was nowhere I was that The Boys didn't want to be.
And as I sat in my misery on the back porch, Myles came up and asked me to jump on the trampoline. And I had to say "No, I cannot." Myles walked away, a little sad. Standard conversation between me and my son. He asks a question, I respond, and that is the end. A lot of times I have not known if Myles really understands me or not.
But today, instead of walking away, Myles turned around. And he said:
"Why Not?".
As in, I said "No", and he said "Why?".
I know what your thinking, do I really wanna go there? I mean, isn't that a parent's worst fear? The day your child first questions your reasoning.
But for us it is a blessing. Again, it means he is communicating. Not echoing, but actually seeking to understand the "why" in what is said and done.
I mean, that is the whole point in everything we are doing with our children. Whether or not they have special needs. And when they question you, and your motives, I would challenge you to stay away from the "Because I said so" phrase.
Why would you care to explain yourself?
Why Not?
1 comment:
:oD
You guys are often a perspective check for me. Thanks.
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