Holding my Breath

I do it often, you know...hold my breath. Is that normal? Is that typical? In the moment of decision, how do react? Do you charge into the situation, head first? Do you stand back cautiously, evaluating every possible outcome?

Or do you wait, hoping that what you have done in the past...what you have prepared for, will be enough? Do you ever catch yourself holding your breath?

Sometimes, I feel almost hypocritical. I want The Boys to react appropriately to certain scenarios. I believe they are learning and improving at a rapid rate. But when the situation presents itself, I find myself wanting to jump in...to do it because (gasp) maybe I think they won't be able to do it?

Last week, we went to the Farmers Market in town. Rows of beans and tomatoes and okra and apple butter. Where there is no air condition, only the breeze and the occasional ceiling fan.

And The Boys (yes..I always capitalize that) did outstanding! We walked through and picked out our vegetables. And then we all waited in line very patiently to check out.

When it was our turn, we stepped up to counter and placed all the fresh goodies on the scale. The very nice man looked down at Myles and said: "Hi, how are you today?"

OK...stop right there....a stranger asked my special son an open-ended question, in a environment he has never before encountered. Does this set off ANY alarm bells to other parents out there???

I mean : "Sir, he's doing great...thank you for asking about him." Or: "Myles, can you look at the nice man and tell him how you are feeling today?" Or ANYTHING that I could possibly do to make this social situation easier for him.

Was what we did in the past enough to prepare him for this? Was it right? Because...these situations have not always gone well and I don't want to look like a bad parent but I don't want to look over-protective either and I mean is it really all about me anyway and am I breathing because it feels like I'm holding my breath ???

And then Myles looks up at the nice man and says: "I'm doing fine. How are you today?"

And I take a breath.

It's gonna be O.K.

I'm feeling Happy !!

So this Random Act actually started about a year ago. It's about Myles and his feelings.

Like all toddlers, Myles had trouble expressing his feelings. Not really sure what "Happy" or "Sad" was all about, Myles was often confused about how he felt in certain situations.

The Joyfulness taught Myles to say "I'm feeling Happy", or "I'm feeling frustrated" and that went a long way in helping him identify his emotions.

Every day for the last year (at least) I have arrived at the house to hear Myles say "Dada's home!!" And we start our ritual:

"Hi, Myles. How are you feeling?" I say.

He smiles his big toothy grin and says "I'm feeling HAPPY !!"

And I say "I'm happy too, buddy!"

Every time I have come home, for the last year (at least).

Every time.


Except this last time.

As usual, I come home, walk in the door, and Myles comes running in, all smiles. And I guess I was preoccupied or something and I didn't immediately start into my spiel.

Myles says, "Hi Dad!"
"How are you feeling?"

(Long pause from the Dada with the lump in his throat).
"I'm feeling Happy, Myles."

Myles says, "I'm happy too!"

Yeah, Myles....you're my right-hand man. (RAOC)

Imagination

Imagination. Creative play. Thinking outside of the box. Day-dreaming. These are typical kid things. Who hasn't played with Hot Wheels in the dirt or brushed Barbie Doll hair? Or run over said Barbie Doll with your Hot Wheels in the dirt? I mean, that's just what "play" is all about.

For my son Sam, imagination comes in spurts. I see it more every day, and it takes my breath away.

Like the other day when I saw him play with a toy airplane in the backyard. As he swirled it around his head, I could hear him saying "Brrrmm, Brmmm".

And most recently, I caught him at the dining room table with a candle.


OK, not a real candle, but one of those battery powered tea lights that flicker in a votive jar. It even has a realistic looking flame that comes out of it.

Anyway, there's Sam with this flickering "candle" in his hands, and he starts singing:


"Happy Birfday to you...Happy Birfday to you....Happy Birfday, Happy Birfday...Happy Birfday to you.

Then Sam puffs and puffs and "blows" out the battery powered candle, simultaneously flicking off the switch. And the candle goes out.


Please excuse me why I enjoy this Random Act of Cool.

Like I said...Takes my breath away.