Holding my Breath

I do it often, you know...hold my breath. Is that normal? Is that typical? In the moment of decision, how do react? Do you charge into the situation, head first? Do you stand back cautiously, evaluating every possible outcome?

Or do you wait, hoping that what you have done in the past...what you have prepared for, will be enough? Do you ever catch yourself holding your breath?

Sometimes, I feel almost hypocritical. I want The Boys to react appropriately to certain scenarios. I believe they are learning and improving at a rapid rate. But when the situation presents itself, I find myself wanting to jump in...to do it because (gasp) maybe I think they won't be able to do it?

Last week, we went to the Farmers Market in town. Rows of beans and tomatoes and okra and apple butter. Where there is no air condition, only the breeze and the occasional ceiling fan.

And The Boys (yes..I always capitalize that) did outstanding! We walked through and picked out our vegetables. And then we all waited in line very patiently to check out.

When it was our turn, we stepped up to counter and placed all the fresh goodies on the scale. The very nice man looked down at Myles and said: "Hi, how are you today?"

OK...stop right there....a stranger asked my special son an open-ended question, in a environment he has never before encountered. Does this set off ANY alarm bells to other parents out there???

I mean : "Sir, he's doing great...thank you for asking about him." Or: "Myles, can you look at the nice man and tell him how you are feeling today?" Or ANYTHING that I could possibly do to make this social situation easier for him.

Was what we did in the past enough to prepare him for this? Was it right? Because...these situations have not always gone well and I don't want to look like a bad parent but I don't want to look over-protective either and I mean is it really all about me anyway and am I breathing because it feels like I'm holding my breath ???

And then Myles looks up at the nice man and says: "I'm doing fine. How are you today?"

And I take a breath.

It's gonna be O.K.